


That Time Tony and Bruce Fucked up and Turned Captain America and the Winter Soldier into Household Pets

by CovalentBond



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Animal Transformation, Bucky is a big fluffy wolf, Gen, Steve is an unimpressed cat, Team Bonding, Team as Family, tony is an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 13:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1690589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CovalentBond/pseuds/CovalentBond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh fuck.” Said Tony Stark.</p><p>“Oh fuck, indeed.” Bruce Banner agreed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One Where Tony and Bruce Fuck Up

**Author's Note:**

> All those headcanons about Steve being a puppy and Bucky being an alley cat are cute, but wouldn't it be better if Steve was the sassy kitty and Bucky was the oddly affectionate dog? 
> 
> I'm watching too many cat and dog videos on youtube.

       “Oh fuck.” Said Tony Stark.

       “Oh fuck, indeed.” Bruce Banner agreed.

       “Nggn.” The freakishly big brown wolf snorted.

       “Meow.” The orange cat blinked up at them between two sets of wolf paws.

\----

       In retrospect, Tony should have considered the repercussions of working on Bucky’s arm and chatting up Captain America whilst Bruce is testing out his new gamma ray machine less than five feet away. It really shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did when the machine burst into flames seconds after a soft “aw shit” was heard from Bruce, and _of course_ Steve would try to cover them with his body and _of-fucking-course_ Barnes would try to shield Steve and end up tripping over his own feet and propelling both of them into the flaming machine.

       Tony and Bruce stared at Steve and Bucky. Steve and Bucky stared back. The machine-which was now smoking-gave a pitiful groan and pop and collapsed.

       “Oh fuck.” Tony repeated.

       Bruce took his glasses off the wiped them on his shirt.

       “Oh fuck.” Tony repeated again.

\----

       It turns out that Steve and Bucky are still _Steve and Bucky_ despite their newly gained furriness and lack of opposable thumbs. The fact that Bucky’s jaw twitches every time someone scratches him behind his floppy ears and the level of unimpressed pouring from every fiber in Steve’s body is evidence enough that they are very much aware of what happened.

       Jarvis had called a code blue and gathered the team sans Thor in the living room on Tony’s floor and had called in a few SHIELD agents to clean up the mess in the lab. Bucky had settled himself on a cushion on the floor beside the couch, and Steve had wiggled his way under Bucky’s awkward sprawl of limbs and curled up under his neck.

       “Okay, what happened?” Clint demanded for the third time, sitting cross-legged on the top of the couch. “How does that just happen?”

       “I don't know,” Bruce replied over his tablet, shaking his head. “I thought my calculations were off, but it didn't seem _that_ off.” 

       Carefully, Tony got up and stalked into the kitchen. He emerged a few minutes later with two cups of tea and passed one to Bruce. “Thanks. Jarvis is running my analysis and trying to find the outlier. Gonna take a few days, with the lab in repairs and all that.”

       “I guess we'll just wait it out. Maybe they’ll turn back in a few hours.” Natasha shrugged.

       By this point, Steve had nodded off, pillowing his head on Bucky’s paws, purring as the warmth from Bucky’s body lulled him into an easy sleep. Bucky looked around at them, as if daring them to say something about it.

       Clint got out his phone and snapped a picture, uploading it onto his Instagram with the tag ‘The Captain and his Soldier”. He got more than 10,000 likes within the first hour. 

 


	2. The One Where They Go On A Picnic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find any mistakes please tell me. :)

       On the second day of ‘oh fuck we turned a national treasure and a brainwashed ex assassin into furry animals’, Natasha, Clint, Bruce and Tony took Steve and Bucky out for a walk. “I’m taking Captain America and the Winter Soldier out for a walk.” Tony had said to Pepper on the phone when she asked him about his plans. He laughed so hard at the absurdity of that sentence he almost cried.

       Seeing the Avengers strolling through Central Park on a Saturday morning is not something that happens often, and even in casual clothes they were turning heads and being asked for signatures. They found themselves a quiet patch of grass under a tree in the far corner of the park.

       Natasha had brought Steve’s shield to use as a Frisbee. Bruce packed a few sandwiches, fruit plates and snacks for lunch. Tony had snuck a few bottles of bourbon into the bottom of the basket. Someone’s gonna need it.

       Steve snatched the shield from Natasha’s hands and wagged his tail.

       “You gonna play fetch with that, Steve?” She teased. He wagged his tail harder. “Are you sure you can carry that?”

       Steve huffed (not cute, Tony said to himself, totally not cute) and tried to lift the shield with his paws. Bucky stalked over and picked up the shield along with Steve dangling on one end. Steve flailed helplessly for a few seconds and gave up.

       “Meeh,” he meowed pathetically between his bite around the metal.

       Bruce plucked Steve from the shield and set him on his lap. “You guys are gonna smash some innocent jogger in the face playing fetch that a shield made from vibranium.” He scolded.

       Clint was rooting through his pockets for his phone. “How much do you want to bet that Fury’s freaking out right now?” Bucky nosed at his left jean pocket. “Thanks.” Clint took his phone out.

       “Well, it could have been worse.” Tony defends with a mouthful of ham and cheese. “It could have been the four of us.” He gestured to Bruce and himself.

       Natasha shrugged and started to tear her sandwich into small pieces. Bucky picked the ones on the ground and Steve took the pieces directly from her hands.

       “Ducks, Nat.” Clint mused, “They’re like ducks.”

       Bruce glanced over at Tony and smiled. This is definitely better than yoga, he thinks to himself.

       Under the cool shades of the tree, they chatted about everything and nothing. Bucky and Steve chased a wayward napkin when the breeze became too strong, and returned covered in mud, each with a piece of the napkin in their mouth. Bruce wiped off the dirtiest patches of fur and left them to groom themselves. Steve finished cleaning himself (“Oh my God, does he really have to lick down _there?_ ” “Grow up, Tony. We all know you would do it too if you could.”) and moved on to Bucky, grooming him behind the ears and around his mouth (“Oh my _God_ , why is he licking _him?_ ” “Shut up Tony, they’re best friends.”)

       In return, Steve coughed up a hairball ten minutes later, wheezing and growling until a tangled mess of mostly dark but occasionally blonde fur ball flew out of his mouth. Bucky licked his head and flicked the hairball towards Clint’s sandwich.

       “ _Dude, what the hell man?_ ” Hawkeye screeched.

       Tony then took out the bourbon. 


	3. The One Where They Take A Bath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or things you'd like to see, leave a message and I'll see if I can write it. :)
> 
> Thanks for the kudos.

       Afterwards, Tony bought a dozen hotdogs and Steve perched on top of Bucky’s head for a free ride home. The hotdog vendor (my name’s Tim, he had introduced) had stared at them with an awed expression, and then bashfully asked for autographs and a group selfie. Tony tipped him two hundred dollars and Clint swore he saw some tears in Tim’s eyes.

       When they arrived at the tower, Bucky’s paws were filthy with mud and grim, and Steve’s whickers and ears were crusted with ketchup and mustard, curtesy of Clint and Tony.

       “Don’t walk on the carpet until you’ve cleaned up,” Tony had warned before walking into the kitchen. Steve climbed down from his spot on Bucky and stared at the retreating back. “And don’t climb on the couch.” Tony added.

       Clint had slipped away to his room with the rest of the hotdogs, leaving Bruce and Natasha standing in the hallway. “Well,” he said to no one in particular, then cleared his throat and added, “I guess it’s bath time for you two.”

       Steve and Bucky both tensed and looked at him in alarm. Natasha raised one of her perfect eyebrows. “What, you’ve killed aliens and punched Hitler in the face over two hundred times, and you’re scared of a little water?”

       After screeching and howling, struggling and yowling, Steve finally caved in and let Natasha manhandle him into the bathroom, where Bruce had conveniently opted out of wrangling the pair to their doom and had drawn a tub of nice lukewarm water. Bucky had reluctantly followed Steve, because he’s with him until the end of the line, or in this case, until the end of bath time. Steve was smacking Natasha on the side of her head with his paw, scratching at the door frames when they entered the bathroom, leaving deep lacerations with his claws, but never used his claws, no matter how much he wanted to, to hurt her, always retracting them at the second before slapping her with the soft pads of his paw.

       Bruce chuckled weakly from where he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, holding a shower head. “C’mon, James, you can get in first,” he encouraged.

       Widow gave Bucky a gentle nudge on his leg, ushering him into the water, which earned her a dirty hairy paw in the mouth, “God dammit Steve-pfft.” Bucky looked oddly pleased when he stepped into the tub. Bruce turned on the shower head and began to hose him down.

       Steve joined a few minutes later, not willing to let his best friend suffer the evil wrath of the lukewarm bath water and Bruce’s attempts at hosing them clean.

       “Meeeowwpptt,” Steve meowed with his head half submerged in water, glaring as Bruce scratched him behind the ears.

       At precisely 12 o’clock at noon, a fluffy Steve sauntered out of the bathroom with an equally fluffy Bucky in tow, followed by a frizzy-haired and disgruntled Natasha trailing behind a shirtless Bruce, holding a towel that’s completely soaked through.

       “Tony and Clint can clean the damned bathroom, I'm done,” said Natasha. “I am going to shower and binge eat ice cream. Widow out.” She made an odd gesture with her hands and left.

       Steve and Bucky stared at Bruce as he shrugged out of his wet jeans and stood in his boxers.

       “What? After scrubbing you guys down from head to toe, I don’t think modesty is really necessary,” said Bruce as he patted both of them on the head.


	4. The One Where Clint Fucks Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i included a picture of what steve and bucky look like in my head in case you have trouble imaging them :)
> 
> theyre just so cute arent they

 

 

 

 

\-----

 

"Steve?" Clint called out tentatively, for the umpteenth time. 

 

Steve hissed loudly. 

 

"C'mon, Steve," Clint whined. He's flat on his stomach on the living room carpet with his head turned towards the bottom of the couch, arms reaching under for the angry orange cat. "I said I was sorry."

 

Steve pushed his hands away with his paws and turned back to staring at the little slip of wallpaper between the bottom of the couch and the ridiculously soft(and very fucking expensive) carpet. 

 

"Please? Come out, Steve," Clint's past the point of preserving his dignity now. If Steve doesn't budge he's not afraid to bring out the tears. "I'll make you pancakes. I'll buy you ice cream, the ones with the salted caramel centers." 

 

Steve turned his head at the mention of salted caramel, but he's not swayed. He hissed again and looked away. 

 

"Look, Steve, buddy, Cap," Clint pleads, already thinking about the ending of 'Marley and Me' to mentally prepare for the inevitable tears that will need to come. "Tasha and Bruce are gonna murder me when they come home and find out about this, and I've already said sorry! What else do you want?"

 

Bucky, who had witnessed the whole spectacle from the beginning, was lounging lazily on the adjacent couch, head lolled to one side and paws dangling off the seat. Clint had asked him for help at first, but out of everyone,  Bucky knows Steve's stubbornness the best, and if Steve doesn't want to come out, then he won't. Plus, it was Clint's fault anyways. 

 

"Oh my God," Clint moaned when his phone vibrated in his pocket, "they're back. And they're gonna kill me. It's gonna be all your fault when the Avengers assemble and Fury realizes he's one archer down." 

 

Steve yawned, rubbing his eyes with his paws and tucking his nose into the crook of his arms. 

 

Clint stared at the curled up ball of fur. "Oh, you little shit." He sighed in defeat. 

 

Bucky snorted from the couch. 

 

\-----

 

Natasha and Bruce walked into the room and stared. 

 

Clint was lying spread eagle on his front with his right arm disappearing under the couch, a bag of chips and its contents littered across the very fucking expensive carpet, Bucky dozing on another couch and Steve nowhere in sight. 

 

Clint slowly turned his head around to face them. "I can explain." 

 

"Please do." 

 

"Tasha, it wasn't my fault." 

 

A loud yowl came from the couch, and Clint jerked his arm back with a wince. 

 

"Okay- _ow_ , it was  _kinda_  my fault." 

 

Bruce and Natasha didn't say anything. They simple stared at him. 

 

"Okay fine, it was totally my fault." Clint pouted, but it didn't seem to have its desired effect. Steve's puppy eyes-when he was human, was indestructible and foolproof. No one could resist it, not even Thor, who probably  _invented_  the puppy face, although he's a close second, followed by Barnes, surprisingly. 

 

Natasha walked to where Clint was and bent down. "Steve?" She called to the bottom of the couch. 

 

A soft meow answered her. 

 

Bruce joined them and kneeled down beside Natasha. "Steve, is everything okay?" 

 

He must have sounded concerned because Steve's little button nose poked out after a few seconds, followed by his whiskers. 

 

"Meow," he meowed reassuringly, then popped his whole head out and glared at Clint. 

 

"Look, I  _said_  I'm  _sorry_! What do you  _want_?!" Clint sputtered and flailed his arms. 

 

Steve reached for Bruce's arm with his paw and nodded twice towards the shopping bags they brought back. 

 

"You want food?" Natasha asked helpfully, looking confused. 

 

Steve turned towards Clint and huffed. 

 

"Okay, okay. I'll get you the ice cream that I promised." Clint said, ignoring the questioning looks from Bruce and Natasha. Bucky woofed. "Okay, fine. For the both of you." 

 

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him.  _Don't think we won't find out about what you did,_  her glare conveyed. Clint gulped, he doesn't doubt that. 

 

\-----

 

"So, what exactly did you do to piss him off?" Bruce asked once Clint peeled himself off of the floor and vacuumed the potato chips away. 

 

He looked away sheepishly. Tony, who had finally come down from his lab to a coffee refill, perked up. "Piss who off?"

 

"Steve," Natasha answered from the cutting board. She waved the knife in front of Clint's face and said, "he was hiding underneath the sofas when we got back, and Clint wouldn't tell us what happened." 

 

Clint's got three pairs of eyes trained on him now, and he's trying not to squirm in his seat. 

 

"C'mon, spit it out," Tony urged. "He's not even mad anymore, look, he's jumping all over the place with Barnes." He points across the kitchen table at the living room.

 

Clint looked at his feet and mumbled something. 

 

"What? I can't hear you." Natasha leaned in dramatically and cupped her ear. 

 

Clint huffed and raised his voice, still refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "I  _said:_ I made a pussy joke about Captain America and he tried to rearrange my face with his claws. Happy?"

 

He pouted pathetically as Tony choked on his coffee while Bruce and Natasha doubled over laughing.

 

"Oh my God! Jarvis, did you get that? That was fucking legendary! I'm gonna watch that shit on repeat,  _oh my GOD CLINT._ " 

 

Clint  _almost_  felt bad when scorching hot coffee spurted from Tony's nose. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. School is hectic and and unforgiving. 
> 
> I'm also running out of ideas for this is story, so if you have any prompts or ideas you want, feel free to add a comment. :)

"Hey," Clint said when Tony walked into the kitchen. 

Tony grunted in response and made grabby hands at Bruce, who sighed and slid his cup of coffee towards him. 

"Thanks," he mumbled after downing the whole cup in one long breathe. "I needed that." 

"How's that thing going?" Clint asked, and motioned his hand towards Bucky and Steve, who were cuddled up like a comma on the couch. 

Tony made a vague noise from the back of his throat that did not answer the question. Bucky opened one eye and stared at Tony. 

"Jarvis is still running a few tests, but we're almost sure that it's some kind of radiation mutation." Bruce answered instead. 

Steve flicked his tail from underneath Bucky's paw and meowed. 

"It's not permanent," Tony added. "So the effects should revert itself after the potency runs out." 

Steve purred in response and Bucky closed his eye again, going back to sleep. 

"In the mean time, let's just hope we won't get called out on another team mission," Bruce sighed. 

"Fury would be so pissed off," Tony smiled at the thought. 

"He'd be furrious," Clint snickered. 

Bruce coughed into his new cup of coffee. "Gosh darn it, Clint."


End file.
